I have a pretty simple question, but I’ve really been struggling with how to best handle the situation. I’m a woman in my mid 50s and starting dating a younger guy over three years ago. After an extremely intense romance that lasted about eight months, we decided to back off from the serious part of the relationship (my choice for many reasons), but have remained together and see each other often. It is way more involved and emotional than a friends-with-benefits situation, more like a “lover.”

Several months ago, one of his best friends, who happens to be married, starting texting me asking if we could get together sometime. I played it off like he was just looking to hang out with friends, but it was completely clear that this was not his intention. After a few days, he stopped texting, but I didn’t mention it to my lover. I don’t know if I should tell him that his friend broke the bro code. I really don’t want to come between them and ruin their friendship. I probably won’t be involved with this guy for much longer, but his friend will likely stay in his life for a long time. On the other hand, I think my lover should know if he can trust his friends.

– Complicated