The short story is that I’ve been burned from past relationships. My ex was abusive, unfaithful, and wasted money on drug addictions. I’ve been in a successful relationship now for five years, but I’m not “head over heels.” She’s great to me, my kids, my family, and everyone loves her. I have yet to express love to her though. I expressed it in past relationships, but not this one. I don’t know what it is.

In the past, it seemed the more emotional I was for someone, the more “unsafe” they were for me, and I’d wind up getting hurt. I’ve maintained a wall of sorts from my current relationship, and I know it’s unnecessary, but it’s still there. She, on the other hand, tells me all the time that she loves me. She also tells me that it’s difficult at times when I respond with “I know.” I’m really not trying to be a jerk, but I don’t want to say it when I’m not 100 percent on it. I don’t get butterflies with her, I’m not fawning over her, but I do enjoy our time together. She has no desire to end the relationship and would be devastated if I left. If she were to leave me, I think I would be ok in a couple weeks, tops. Am I terrible or just messed up in the head?

– I Know