My boyfriend and I have been together for over four years now. He was married once for 30 years to his now-ex of over six years. I have been married and divorced three times. He is older by a decade, in his late 50s, and we both have grown children. He doesn’t talk about his ex but every time she calls for his help, he is there. When I ask were he went, he will tell me exactly what he is doing/done. I used to get upset about him helping her so much. I’d tell him that she needs to get others to take care of her plumbing, etc.

They have grown sons together, and they all live in another city. He’s never invited me to travel with him to see them. Once I asked to go, and he did take me. I went and met his ex-wife and she was nice. He travels to see his family once a month.

I asked why he doesn’t ask me to go with him more often when he sees his family. I asked if it is something that I do or say, or if it is because his ex is always there with him and maybe feels uncomfortable with me being around his family. He said it isn’t anyone in the family – he said it is him. I am not sure what he meant, and it didn’t help when he tried to explain it further. Whenever I see my family, he joins me and they love him.

We live together in his house, as I have sold mine due to his procrastination (he was supposed to move in with me).  I am not sure if I feel comfortable with his relationship with his ex – not because I fear they might cheat, but … what is going to happen when she gets older and unable to take care of herself? Should I be concerned, stick with it, or cut my losses and move on/just be friends?

I am not looking to get married again but would like to be with someone. He is very kind and a great listener but doesn’t talk much about what he expects or what the future holds.

– looking for a little guidance and input