Does it make sense to keep this going?

Wednesday | December 11, 2024

Love Letters Dating

Does it make sense to keep this going?

A few months ago, I matched with a man on a dating app who revealed he was actually from Europe and is currently living in London. However, he said he would be local for a week-long trip with his friends from college (I’m assuming he had his location pre-set to Boston to meet someone to go out with while he was here). I gave him my number if he ever wanted to contact me when the trip came around.

Two weeks ago, I got a message from him telling me he’s in Boston. At first I blow him off due to lack of free time and slight disinterest. But for some reason I decided to respond the next day, and we met up that night. I ended up seeing him every day for the rest of his trip. Before he flew back to London, we met up to spend some time together and say goodbye.

I had thought that was the end of our short-lived romance. However, we’ve been texting everyday since he’s left, with the occasional call when it works out for our different time zones. I will be moving to Europe (a different country) for six months starting February, so we’ve talked a lot about seeing each other again. Sometimes he’ll tell me it’s too far away and I should visit him in London before then. We’re both in our early 20s and it’s unlikely we’ll ever be in the same place at the same time. Is there any sense in keeping in contact or talking about seeing each other again when there’s likely no future?

– Future

Sense? I don’t know if there’s any sense in continuing this.

But is there fun in it? The chance for a fantastic, memorable experience? Maybe.

I’m not telling you to spend a bunch of money to go to London within the next 30 days. But if you want to keep in touch, consider a trip, and hang out when you’re in Europe, go for it.

Unless you find yourself thinking about him all the time. If you’re pining for him – miserable you can’t be near him – that’s no good. If you’re like, whatever, it would be super fun to see him in London with no major expectations, that’s great.

You know yourself, right? You don’t want his presence in your life to prevent you from having a great time with other people. That’s when you’d want to stop the conversation. But if you’re capable of doing a bunch of stuff – having fun on a Friday, making friends, dating others, and planning for your own trip abroad – do all of the things.

You’re allowed to do whatever you want, even if it’s not part of a plan for the future.

– Meredith

Readers? Worth pursuing? Have you ever set your app to date on vacation? What’s happened?

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