Some women offer to pay when they’re not interested. Others offer to pay because they want to be fair. I remember one woman telling me that if a guy let her pay, she assumed that he wasn’t interested. Basically, everyone is confused and making up their own weird rules.

Your best bet is to start with coffee. Coffee first dates are great because they’re all about conversation, and talk is cheap. Even if you go to the fanciest cafe, the bill shouldn’t be over $20. You can reserve dinner and drinks for date two or three.

Also, if someone offers to pay more than once, it usually means they want to split the check. That means you should let them. You can just be honest and say, “I never know what to do at this point. Thank you for splitting the check, but I’d like to treat you next time.”

Readers? Coffee? Do you use the check to indicate whether there will be a second date? Is this problem reserved for men dating women?

– Meredith