I know many straight single men who coupled up with people their own age after 50.

My dad is one of them. I don’t think he’s ever dated someone younger. 

What I wonder: have you asked any of these men out? Do they have any idea you’re interested? Do you find one of them more pleasing than the other?

If you like someone at your dance night, please ask that person to grab a quick bite before one of the next events. It’s low stakes and could turn into a platonic outing if there’s no chemistry. Maybe all these guys have been thinking, of you, “I … guess she just likes to dance.”

Another question I have about your dance community: is it like a workplace, where people wouldn’t want to make things complicated? Perhaps there’s a fear that one bad relationship will ruin the weekly experience. If so, I wonder if you can pop in to another dance night elsewhere. Maybe the vibes of your gathering are all about the activity, less about connection.

You say you “used to be asked out on dates all the time.” It’s possible that people aren’t as good at that these days. Because of apps (and a pandemic, and a changing culture), singles have learned to communicate through messages, and are probably less bold about approaching someone and saying, “Let’s hang out.” I remember a divorced friend telling me that 15 years ago, he would have approached a woman in a bar, but after about 2010 that felt … predatory, even with good intentions. The mood had shifted, and he didn’t want to bother people in real life.

That’s why you might have to lead the way on the dance floor. If you’re comfortable saying hello to strangers – and flirting – go for it.

Now let’s see if our esteemed audience has ideas for one-liners after a dance that get you to a first date.

– Meredith

Readers? Lines for asking someone out in real life? Ways to float the idea without backing someone into a corner? What’s worked for you – and others?