Meredith,

I met my ex-boyfriend more than three years ago, and I’m in my early 20s. I was his first girlfriend, and he was my second relationship. Everything was perfect at first. A few months down the road, though, I realized that he had low self-esteem and was controlling and jealous. To top it off, his family would criticize me a lot. I always felt like I was walking on egg shells. He got upset about my male friends, and I became anti-social and did what he asked. Eventually, last November, I gave up. When I left I was relieved, but then I became devastated. I met a new man who was significantly older but was good to me and made me feel great about myself – until he ended it because he still had feelings for his ex.

During that romance, I would still reach out to my ex asking how he was. I do not know why. My ex would beg me to come back, but I never told him I was dating someone else. After the breakup with the new guy, I finally started to experience the heartbreak from the breakup with my ex. I contacted my him and said that I wanted to give our relationship another chance. He wanted to, as well. He told me he changed and that he is seeking help to control his issues. He asked me if I “cheated” on him during the breakup. I did not have the courage to say yes. Am I making a mistake? I do not feel like I cheated on him. I do not feel like I should tell him what I did. Is this correct?

– Confused Soul