Meredith,

I am a divorced mother who has found love with an old friend I’ll call John. We’ve been together for about a year and are discussing marriage in a couple of years. He’s wonderful with my kids and he’s truly the best partner I have ever had.

John dated someone I’ll call Jen before me. She broke up with him and he divulged to me that he still loves her. He’s reassured me that he doesn’t want to date her now, and that even if he had the opportunity he wouldn’t take it because he wants to be with me. As an adult, I can understand that people may love others with whom relationships did not work out and that’s OK. As a matter of fact, I was so understanding that I didn’t mind that he hung out alone with her on a number of occasions. They still see each other frequently.

Recently I noticed texts coming through on his phone and glimpsed a few that bothered me. Jen said that for her birthday, she wanted John to get her flowers because she saves flowers from his bouquets every year. I didn’t look at any of the messages before or after those texts, and I don’t know if he ended up buying her the flowers or not. Should I confront him about this and ask if he did? Is there a bigger issue here? Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

– Wondering