I don’t have magic answers. But I do know that people are used to apps. If you’re asking people out in real life, they might not know how to handle that. Meet people in real life for friendship and community, and see where it goes. If you’re looking for a romantic date, the apps tell you (ideally) whether people are looking for that, too.

Maybe you’re already using apps, and that’s where you’re getting rejected. If that’s the case, consider how quickly you’re asking. A person might require a few cute messages before they’re ready to meet in person. They might need to know that you’re choosing to pursue them for a reason. Make sure you know why you want to take it to the next step.

Also, show a friend your profile and see if they have notes. (If you have no one to show, I will do this service for you. This is the bonus you get for writing a letter.)

Consider that there are other students in the same boat, so take advantage of student groups on campus. Go to mixers. Plan a meetup for people who are looking for a Boston community. It might not lead to a date, but … it could. Sometimes being the social coordinator turns you into the person everybody wants to be around – and kiss. If your school isn’t planning these events for you, tell them you want to initiate. Ask for resources. Get a party going.

– Meredith