Should We Cut Ties Before College?

Tuesday | August 30, 2016

Love Letters Dating

Should We Cut Ties Before College?

It’s that time of year.

I have been dating my girlfriend for six months. I’m 18, she is 17. I’m going to college, she is not. We have a good relationship and we are both happy. We talked the other day and she feels that taking a break would be beneficial to both of us because we are about to enter very hectic times in our lives. If we tried to continue an “intimate” relationship over thousands of miles, we would stretch it thin and it would probably not work out.

Like I said, we are not considering a break because our relationship is going downhill. We chose to be together because we respect each other and enjoy spending time together. Would bringing the relationship to an absolute close be good or should we both keep our doors open for each other in the future?

– College Bound

You can keep some doors open when you leave for school. Just know that those doors probably won’t be available to you for a very long time. You and the girlfriend can keep in touch and see each other if it feels right, but there won’t be any final answers. College is not a great time for absolute anything.

This might get confusing, especially during visits and breaks, but but if you’re honest with each other, you should be able to preserve a friendship, at the very least. It sounds like your girlfriend likes to keep it real. That’ll help.

I know there’s a part of you that wants a boundary or some closure, but right now, there’s no such thing. Accept that the next few years of your life are going to involve a lot of wonderful, ever-changing open-ended questions.

– Meredith

Readers? Can you share some high-school-to-college relationship stories?

Dating Distance

Featured Comment

You need to define what ‘taking a break’ means. Can you date other people? Can you be intimate with other people? Is it just another word for a break up but leave the possibility of something in the future open? It seems that you want absolute freedom to do what you want. Make it clear to her that is what you want. If she is fine with that, there is no harm considering this ‘taking a break.’

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