Please know you’re asking a straight lady. I am happy to give you an answer, but I highly recommend reaching out to a therapist, support groups, and any organizations in your town that can help in real ways. (We can have a back-and-forth offline about where you live and what’s available.)

I would also encourage you to seek out fun with a new community. A few months ago, I went to see the finale of Eurovision at Club Cafe in Boston. It was a bunch of strangers in a bar mid-day, but everyone was talking and having fun. If there’s a similar spot in your town, you can show up to an easy event to see how it feels to be part of a friendly majority.

I’m encouraged by the number of groups that are hosting parties where people can get used to being themselves, in whatever way necessary. I mention the Skip the Small Talk event series a lot, because I like the concept of speed dating that doesn’t have to be dating at all. Their events are designed to be multi-generational, and everybody shows up thinking, “I guess I’ll take to strangers and we’ll all just interact for a few hours – with no pressure for more.” You might not be looking for new friends, but this is about adjusting to your own narrative. It’s about seeing people who aren’t used to seeing you one way. It’s practice.

My last thought is just … accept that it’ll feel weird for a bit. It’s a new normal, and it’s OK to feel uncomfortable. Feel free to scream, “This feels WEIRD,” into a mirror. Know that discomfort isn’t always bad; it’s just part of the process of change.

– Meredith

Readers? Advice? Thoughts? Personal experience?