“… how do I navigate talking to him knowing that religion is very important to him but I have no experience in it?”

Say whatever you want, as long as it’s honest. If you’re happy with your relationship to religion as is, you can tell him, “I come from a multi-faith household, and I enjoy how holidays bring family together. I’m not a person who wants to go to church on Sundays, but I like to honor traditions a few times a year.” (Fill that in with whatever’s true.)

Maybe a conversation will show he’s open to dating someone who respects his faith but doesn’t participate. Or perhaps it’ll be clear that you’re not suited for each other. All of this can start with an casual discussion, maybe over dinner.

Now for this one:

“… is it wrong of me to exclude someone from like my hypothetical dating pool because of their religion or because of their dedication to their religion …”

It’s not wrong. People have different values, and sometimes that means they shouldn’t date each other. For instance, in this city, we have a lot of marathon runners who spend the better part of a decade (or more) training for races. They need to partner with someone who fully understands their commitment – and the schedule that goes with it.

I’m not saying marathons are like faith, but … you get the point. People spend time on what they love, and it helps when partners can be on board. If you don’t value, embrace, or want to live alongside this man’s priorities, you can keep him in your head as a “neighbor crush” and move on. 

– Meredith

Readers? Are you partnered with someone who is a lot more or a lot less connected to religion and faith than you? How does it work? How would you start a conversation about this as the letter writer?

Is there something on your mind about a relationship in your life? A friendship? A crush? A spouse? Send your own question. Help others wondering the same thing. Use the form – or email [email protected].