Hi Meredith,

I’m 32 and have been thinking about trying Botox. I used to smoke in my early college years (I know, eww) and just have the kind of fair skin that wrinkles easier than others. I don’t want to look different; I just want to delay the worsening of my wrinkles. I have two friends in their late 20s who started it in order to prevent/delay theirs, and they love it. This would only be done twice a year at a pretty low level. I am very comfortable with my age, but I’m not trying to look older either.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and live together. He is caring, patient, thoughtful, supportive, and funny, and while we have our issues, we have a great relationship. I’ve talked about the whole Botox idea with him, and he is strongly against it. I forgot the exact reasons, but I got the sense he didn’t want me to turn into those women with unrecognizable faces. He wants me to stay as I am, and while that is very sweet, I don’t think he understands the kind of pressure that is put on women. He is older than me and just continues to look more handsome over time, meanwhile, no matter how many creams I use and how much money I spend, nothing seems to be slowing down the lines on my face. I know women who do it without telling their husbands, but I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do.

Of course, I’d like him to keep thinking that I’m beautiful as the years go by, and I’d love to see my angry 11s be less angry, but is it worth me hiding it from him? I fear that he would think less of me for making that decision, as if it meant I am not the confident woman he knows, and that is why I am struggling. I am confident in myself today, but again, is it so wrong to want to delay the inevitable?

Ultimately, I know it is my decision, and while I don’t intend on asking his permission, I would love to have his blessing. I think he would support me either way (with a lot more education on what it entails, expectations, risks, and so on), but I don’t want him to feel disappointed by my decision or think less of me for it. I’ve struggled enough to make this decision myself and now I have to sell him on it, too. Thoughts?

-To Botox or not to Botox