A.

Sometimes birthday people write in disappointed and I’m like, “Calm down, it was just a birthday. You’re an adult; stop putting so much pressure on others to meet your expectations.” 

I listened to your question and thought: this is part of who you are. You should be with someone who makes the day special. 

Why do I have more empathy for your predicament? Maybe because you’ve communicated with your boyfriend. (So many people expect mind reading.)

You also seem easy to please. If a nice note is all you require, that’s not so bad.

I’d think you’d be fun to shop for – like you’re someone who would appreciate a handmade trinket or a nice recipe. Planning for your birthday could be a delightful game for the right person.

Plus, it’s a winter birthday, right? Why not take a dreary day and turn it into something nice?

You explained your needs to your significant other and they were ignored – this year, at least. It sounds there are problems on other days, too.

If we choose to spend part of our lives with a romantic partner, the hope is that they share our values. It sounds like this is about more than birthdays; it’s about your desire to celebrate moments. 

Think about all the other days of the year and whether he joins you in making them special. If not, that’s an answer.

Either way, this choice can start with a discussion. You can talk to him about how you’ve been feeling for the past few months. Maybe he’ll communicate more about his needs, and you can see if it’s a match.

– Meredith

Readers? Is this about birthdays or celebrating happy moments? Do you have a Birthday Person in your life? How do you celebrate them?