Dear Meredith,

I’ve been involved with a man for a few years. We’re early-50s, both with kids, both not rich but not destitute either. We click on all levels and have discussed moving in together after our kids have flown the coop. On his birthday and Christmas, I give him a gift. We celebrate his birthday together which he enjoys and thanks me for.

He has never once given me a gift or a card. Thinking maybe he just had no idea what I wanted, this year I told him (not hinted) about something I would like for my birthday. It would have cost next to nothing. He didn’t respond and my birthday came and went with only a verbal birthday wish; no card, gift, or special anything. The something I mentioned didn’t appear for Christmas either.

I don’t give gifts with the expectation of getting something in return; I truly enjoy thinking about what he would like and getting something that makes him smile. I have no intention of stopping giving him gifts. But his lack of any kind of recognition is starting to hurt. I don’t want lavish gifts. I would be happy with a card, a letter, a cupcake, a music download, a book, or an inexpensive craft-fair piece of jewelry. Anything that said “I was thinking of you.” It really is the thought that matters to me and I hate that I’m starting to feel like an afterthought. I should add that he buys gifts for his kids and other relatives, so it’s not like he doesn’t understand that there are traditional gift-giving occasions.

Is it silly at my age to want some small token of affection so badly? Should I let it go? How do I let it go?

– Empty Stocking in Providence