I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He is my absolute best friend and I adore him. We live together and for the most part have a wonderful relationship. Here’s the problem: We have a non-existent sex life!

To me, this is not something I can overlook. I want to feel desired. If I bring this up to him (which I have many times), he makes a joke or shrugs me off. I’m so fed up and don’t know what to do. I can’t picture my life without him, but at this point he’s more of a friend than anything. I feel that the only reason we’re still together is that we’ve already been together this long. It’s just convenient.

To make it even more complicated, I recently met a guy quite randomly and we hit it off and have become fast friends. I have unbelievable chemistry with the new guy and can see myself with him easily, which makes me realize what I’m missing. When I think about the new guy, I am happy and relaxed as opposed to stressed and dissatisfied at home.

I know my boyfriend is a catch and that I should feel lucky, but I feel that we’re just not compatible anymore. I guess I feel guilty about my needs/wants.

Is sex (or lack of) enough of a reason to call it quits? I’m confident that it will not change. Should I try, try, try some more or salvage what friendship is still intact between us and move on?

– Sadly Unsatisfied, Boston