Last summer I met this guy through Tinder, which I understand is not the most credible place to meet guys, but something about this guy was actually different. I was 18 and he was 21.

We talked for about three weeks before we met, and we seemed to have good chemistry and a similar sense of humor. He picked me up at my house and took me to a very nice, romantic restaurant and paid for my dinner, which for Tinder is pretty rare, based on my experience.

We connected during the date, and he texted me after, asking when he could see me next. He picked me up at my house the next week and took me to an overlook with a view of the city. All we did was talk. The most important part of the date was when he confided in me about a significant family trauma. This was our second date so I was surprised he felt comfortable telling me about this part of his past.

After that date, he started to become really shady about plans. Our relationship devolved into texting for two-week periods with maybe a chance of meeting in person, mostly at his house where we watched movies, talked, and kissed – but our relationship never became sexual. Despite not seeing him in person, he became very intense over text. He acted as if we had a serious relationship and would express his anxiety about not seeing me after I left for college when the summer was over. He initiated texts with me everyday but ceased to commit to plans with me. I felt very confused because I didn’t understand why he continued to communicate with me, especially in such an intense way, if he wasn’t interested in seeing me anymore.

To this day I know that he will always respond to my texts within minutes, sometimes even seconds, but he will not see me in person. I asked why several times but he always deflected my questions with his own questions. I even confronted him in person once about his inability to make plans with me, to which he defensively responded that he had a hectic work schedule. I just don’t understand why he acts like we have such a close relationship over text but then won’t see me in person.

I decided to cut off all communication with him after he sent me texts saying that he missed me when I left for college. If he missed me so much why did he not follow through with plans? Is there a real connection here or am I just being toyed with? What is up with this guy?

– What’s up