Hi Meredith,

Brace yourself for the most frustrating letter ever. I am in my mid 20s and have been dating around for a while. More recently I found myself wanting a committed relationship. Problem is, every guy I start to get serious with has some sort of problem “down there” making it impossible to have any normal sex life. I dated this guy “Chris” for a couple of months. I won’t talk about how excellent and sweet he was, I’ll just cut to the chase. When we had sex it lasted all of seconds. He would be humiliated after the fact, as would I. I tried to be patient and did some research, and we tried all sorts of things to normalize our sex life, but it just didn’t make me happy so I moved on. Then I began dating someone else and he had the same problem. I felt bad ending it with him, but again, I wasn’t happy.

I took a break from trying to find anything serious, and continued to casually date. As of a couple months ago, I met another great guy I feel a connection with. His problems are even worse. He claims it’s total anxiety. I am still seeing him occasionally, but I feel bad breaking someone’s heart once again over this. I hate to keep upsetting and embarrassing men, but I don’t know if I am just cursed, or if it’s normal for things to not go as planned for a while with someone you actually like. All of the guys I have mentioned are also in their mid-to-late 20s, so I assume this is abnormal. How long do I wait it out before I should accept the fact that I will never have a normal sex life with guys like this?

– High Sexpectations?