A Karaoke Crush

Thursday | July 20, 2017

Love Letters Dating

A Karaoke Crush

I’m a divorced woman in my 50s with grown kids. I was married for 20 years and have been divorced now for three. I’ve just started to feel like I’m coming back to life. I haven’t dated much since my divorce, but I’ve been gathering with friends at a few local pubs on karaoke nights (I like to sing), and really enjoy the company and support. A few weeks ago, one person brought a friend along and introduced us. I kind of felt a little spark, which was very unexpected. I thought that part of my life was over.

We sat together much of the evening and I enjoyed talking to him. Now he’s been showing up every week with the rest of our crowd and he always seems to find his way to me. Even though we circulate separately to talk with other people, we always end up talking to each other by the end of the night. He’s even been walking me to my car. I think I’m developing a crush (at my age is that even possible?!) and look forward to seeing him at our karaoke gatherings.

My dilemma is this: Even though I think he’s interested, I don’t know for sure. I thought after a few weeks he’d have asked me out by now. I always assumed that when guys are in to a woman, they don’t hesitate to make something happen. Even though I feel like I see definite signs of interest (his eyes, body language, and the fact that he always comes to find me), I have so little experience in the dating world, so I can’t tell. Should I just be patient and let things unfold or is he “just not that into me” and just a warm friend?

– Never too old to crush

Please redefine what it means to be in your 50s. You’re not in your 150s.

Maybe you felt old in your marriage – like you’d never get butterflies again – but that could have been about the state of the relationship. People get crushes in their 50s all the time. They even get them after their 50s. It would help your dating life if you stop thinking of yourself as past your prime.

With that in mind, just ask the guy out – soon. I can’t promise that he likes you for sure, but there’s no risk in asking him out on a date. If he says “I’m not into you,” you’ll have the answer you need. You can get on that stage and sing “I Will Survive” and be done with it.

Also know going forward that every dating experience – and every person – will be different. Some men are quick to make a move when they’re interested. Others wait. There are no rules for how it works. Maybe this guy is is afraid of rejection. It is also possible he likes your company but wants to keep it platonic.

There’s only one way to find out.

– Meredith

Readers? Should she make a move? What’s your go-to karaoke song? (Just curious.)

Dating Crush

Featured Comment

it’s only been a few weeks; so I wouldn’t assume he’s not interested since he hasn’t made a move. Maybe he’s just letting the flirtation build up….sometimes there’s something to be said about that. There’s nothing though from preventing YOU from making the first move. Life is short and sometimes it doesn’t hurt to be bold. You will have clarity and it will either move something forward or not.

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