He’s Bad At Texting

Wednesday | May 17, 2017

Love Letters Dating

He’s Bad At Texting

Meredith,

I’ve been dating a guy and everything is going well, but there is one problem: he doesn’t text back. He told me he wasn’t good at texting, so I didn’t expect him to be text back quickly or frequently, but when I send him a message, it will show that he read it, but there is usually no reply even when I send him a question.

I don’t know if I’m expecting too much by wanting him to reply, but I would probably be satisfied with an emoji or a one-word answer in response. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a wall and it makes me doubt myself. Am I bad at conversation? Am I so boring that he doesn’t even want to talk to me? When we meet face-to-face, we are able to have a really good time. Maybe this problem would be solved if I talked to him about it directly, but my anxiety makes me so scared. I imagine he will think I’m demanding or too desperate or even annoying. Any advice would be appreciated.

– Talking to a Wall

This guy told you almost everything you need to know. He is bad at texting and doesn’t want to send you an emoji. That’s the answer, so don’t make it about anything else.

You are allowed to talk to him about how you communicate, in general. You can tell him that you’re so used to texting that you’re not sure how to chat in between dates, if at all. Is he a phone call guy? Email? I don’t think it’s desperate to admit to someone that you don’t know what you’re doing.

Whenever you’re feeling this kind of anxiety – which is normal at the start of a relationship – remind yourself that it means a lot that you have a great time in person. We get so many letters from people who stuck in relationships that are 99 percent texts. They get plenty of one-word answers and tiny smiley faces, but they are just as insecure. Short messages can be nice, but they can also make you feel like something is happening when it isn’t. The in-person stuff is the most important thing.

– Meredith

Readers? What would your relationships look like without texts? Should he be answering her text questions?

Dating Texts

Featured Comment

LW, why not communicate about these things the next time you meet up? Ask him point blank whether it drives him bonkers that you text frequently and he doesn’t. I’m guessing that he told you he’s rubbish at texting to avoid these kinds of misunderstandings and you are overthinking something quite straightforward.

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