He Wants To ‘expand His Horizons’

Friday | March 10, 2017

Love Letters Dating

He Wants To ‘expand His Horizons’

Thank you for chatting yesterday.

Hello,

I met this great guy online who lives an hour away from me, but he’s been willing to drive to me. We have slept together and have been seeing each other for a while, but it feels like nothing has changed. I asked him if we are exclusive or still looking for other people. He said he tells other people that he’s taken, but that he still talks to other women to “expand his horizons” or to “find people more like him.”

I’m really confused and wonder if I should continue this. It would be easy for either of us to cheat because of the distance, and I’m starting to like him a lot, which scares me.

When he talks about the future, he seems up in the air about his plans, and they often include travel or moving to a new place someday with no mention of me. In some ways, I’m starting to think he just views me as a friend, although he does call me cute names and shows interest. What does he want? Please help because I don’t want to jump to conclusions and drop a great guy.

– Great guy?

Based on what you told us, this guy likes you and is interested in spending time with you, but is in no way serious about the relationship. He says he’s “taken,” but admits that he hasn’t stopped looking. He talks about expanding his horizons, which means he’s not going to limit himself by making any promises.

His lack of commitment does not mean that he’s not a great guy. It’s possible that he’s very great, but maybe not great for you. There are people out there who are capable of enjoying a relationship without worrying about the future. Maybe they’re young, transient in their jobs, or self-aware enough to know that they’re a few dating experiences away from being ready for a big partnership.

You don’t seem to be someone who likes temporary things. You want assurances. You want to build something. Give yourself a break by expanding your own horizons and looking for a better match.

– Meredith

Readers? Will this relationship grow over time?

Dating Distance

Featured Comment

u0022Kudos to this guy for being very honest with you. Honest that he’s not considering you a partner, let alone someone he sees a future about.nnI’m confused as to why you can’t see that you’re merely a sexual outlet for him.u0022 – BigSigh

Share Thoughts