My boyfriend and I have been together for about eight months or so, and it went from 0 to 60 pretty fast. We got to know each another quickly, and it was one of those natural connections where it seems like you’ve known the person forever.

We do have one issue that gets under my skin sometimes. He’s really close with his family, which is awesome. I love that about him. But often when I try to make plans with him, he’ll wait until the last minute to confirm or cancel. Most of the time it’s to keep his options open to hang out with his family.

I’m practically living at his apartment because he said he likes the idea of me being there. (My apartment does not have air conditioning, so in the summer he gave me a key and insisted I stay at his place). I’ve often wondered if he jets off to his family’s house because he might need some “alone time,” away from his apartment (and me), but he swears that’s not an issue.

Given all of this constant waiting, kind of having to switch up my schedule to hang out with him, it’s getting frustrating. I have spoken to him about it, but he’s ditching me to hang out with his family, so it kind of feels tricky. I don’t want him to feel like I’m trying to make him choose, and I really want him to do what will make him happy. But I find myself bummed out and disappointed a lot.

I’m kind of stuck because I don’t want to let it bother me, but feeling like you’re on the back burner gets old. I find myself questioning if I’m overanalyzing or overthinking. How do I explain these feelings without it seeming like I’m starting a tug-of-war with his family?

– Quality Time