Hi Meredith,

I dated someone for six years (three of four years in college and two after). He lives in Boston, I lived in Connecticut. I’m 25, he’s 26. We had a pretty good relationship, loved each other, and were best friends. We used to visit each other every weekend and have fun together.

Fast forward to last summer, the day of our six-year anniversary, which is when we broke up. Why? Well, I got a job in Boston and decided to move here. First I asked if he wanted to move in together. He didn’t love the idea, so I decided to stay with him for a couple of weeks while I found a place. He freaked out about the whole idea of living together and we broke up.

After six years, we didn’t talk for about two months, then texts started happening here and there. We started seeing each other once every couple of weeks. One of the times I did some snooping and found out he had slept with another girl, so of course I got mad. Because he did that, I decided to have my own experiences (let’s say within five months I slept with four guys). The thing is, he doesn’t know this. We have been going back and forth about this situation for a year now. It has taken this long because he works A LOT, so every time I wanted to have a conversation, he just said, “I’m too tired to fight” or “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Fast forward to today. We see each other every weekend, still talk about everything (family, friends, things at work), and of course we are still being intimate. I have noticed that sometimes he’s distant, but other times, like yesterday, he can’t stop hugging me and he won’t let go. I have tried to have multiple conversations with him but we are not very good talkers, so things are a bit complicated. I’m confused as to what he wants. Does he want to get back together or just be my friend with benefits?

– in love and confused