Dear Meredith,

I am a man in my late 30s, and I met a lovely woman in her early 30s. Things were great between us for the first few months, and we talked about the future. She saw my family many times and I went to visit hers. Things became a bit stressed with work changes and her studying for a PhD, which took up a lot of her time affected our intimacy for a while, but I knew it was a temporary period and that we’d adjust.

After eight months, she told me she had an eating disorder and that she was going for treatment. She said the disorder, which I had no idea about, was a burden and that she needed to do something. I said I supported her and wanted her to be healthy. She said she “doesn’t do” vulnerability and hated talking about the problem. Then she said she wouldn’t be surprised if I wanted to take a break because of it.

I didn’t know what she meant by that, but assumed she felt bad about the condition, and I said I was there to give her support in any way I could. She also said it would be best for me to not to contact her as she does the program. After a while, we communicated normally while she was there. Before she left, she said I was wonderful. She wrote a card saying she was looking forward to our future. Days after returning, she ended the relationship saying we weren’t a match. I am heartbroken. Can you explain what has happened here?

– Looking for answers