Did the two of you come up with any terms for the breakup? Is he supposed to reach out when he’s ready?

If he’s supposed to decide when it’s OK to talk, wait for him to make a move. If there were no boundaries set, you could reach out to make it clear it’s up to him. No response necessary. Just a text (email, card, whatever) to confirm you won’t be reaching out unless he asks.

Really, though, you might want to wait another month or two before sending that message. Maybe more. It’s possible he’s ready for friendship now – but you’re not. Remember, you’re taking this time off for yourself, too. You’re still healing, and dealing with guilt, shame, and grief. The point wasn’t to experience that with him. You need to lean on different people now. He’s not your partner.

It sounds like you could use time with community. That could be friends, family, a support group, therapy – whatever is available to you and feels good. You’re in your mid-20s, which is a great time to meet new people and grow your world. Sign up for everything that sounds like fun.

You want to resume the friendship with your ex when it’s less painful, less necessary – when it can be a source of joy. You’re not there yet. Don’t rush it.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you know when it’s a good time to become friends with an ex? Should there be more communication now?