Dear Meredith,

My boyfriend of 5 years – the love of my life – broke up with me a month ago. While I was initially shocked (as there was no major fight or disagreement to precipitate the breakup), I now realize that it was not completely unexpected. We had met very early in our careers in Boston, when we were both fresh out of college, and grew together for most of our relationship. However, two years ago, an exciting career opportunity came up for me in New York City and I couldn’t resist. So for the past two years, we have been in a long-distance relationship (though I am blessed with a flexible job that allows me to travel up to Boston to see him almost every other weekend).

Things went well during that time. I am now going back to school for my master’s degree, and despite applying to all the programs in Boston that would give me the career lift I required, I was unable to get into one. I did, however, choose the program that would give me the closest access to Boston for the benefit of our relationship. We had talked getting engaged about six months ago and it was pretty serious. I would finish my master’s and move back to Boston in 18 months. We went on vacation together recently. We had some disagreements over what activities to do, but nothing serious that I felt undermined our good relationship. Our busy schedule – traveling for vacation, meeting with friends when I visit – did, however, put a damper on any intimacy and romance over the past two months. And maybe he felt that I was limiting my post-grad school career search to Boston to be with him and didn’t want to impede my geographic freedom.

He broke up with me citing that he “loves me but is not in love with me,” but is open to dating again if I end up in Boston after school. We spoke on the phone last night for the first time since the breakup and it felt so great. We laughed and chatted for over an hour. Sparks were flying even after all this time, and this conversation convinced me that if this relationship is at all salvageable, I want to put my whole heart into it. Here’s my question, Meredith: What is going on? Does this mean the relationship is shot or is it just a period of boredom due to lack of romance? Is it just cold feet or his fear that I’m not serious about moving back to Boston?

– Brokenhearted in the Big Apple