We broke up but share a country club

Tuesday | September 9, 2025

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

We broke up but share a country club

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When I purchased a membership last Christmas for my now ex-girlfriend to the country club I belong to, I had some trepidation, as it was still a new relationship.

The club pro assured me if the relationship soured, we could work something out.

Fast forward to about a month ago and the relationship ended. We were still talking for a week afterward, until she turned nasty on me. I begged her to keep it civil and polite, as we would inevitably see one another on the course. She brought another guy on the course the following week and proceeded to flip me off and the new guy openly mocked me.

I reported the situation to the club pro, who basically told me to “try and get along.” I ended up resigning from my membership. Breaking up is hard enough, but openly insulting me was a line too far.

I was recently was contacted by the President of the Country Club for an unrelated matter. Should I report the behavior to him and possibly restore my membership? I’d really just like her to pay for her own membership.

– Membership

This is why we don’t “make messes” where we eat.

Of course the club pro told you to get an extra membership. He was upselling you!

It’s also possible he’s never experienced this kind of awkwardness, and couldn’t imagine that with one simple purchase, you might be ruining the vibe of the place you go to for fun.

Reporting your ex might escalate this conflict. But it would be nice for you to return to a place that made you happy.

Ask this club president about joining month-to-month. Feel free to explain why (bad breakup, things are messy). Return to the club – no matter what – and see how it feels.

Stop paying for her membership because she can cover her own golf. If it’s an annual fee you’ve already paid, let it run out. If you’re only a few months in, find out if they’ll let you course correct now.

If this ex is nasty in public a second time, report her. But for now the goals are: return to a happy place, deescalate, and stop paying for anyone but yourself.

Next time, bring significant others as a guest. They don’t need to be members; they can simply provide good company when it makes sense.

– Meredith

Readers? I’m sure this happens at the gym. It happens in similar ways at work. What do you do? Would you report the ex immediately?

Send your own anonymous relationship, dating, and friendship questions to [email protected] or fill out this form.

Breakups 🖤

Featured Comment

I wouldn’t get the country club involved in your personal breakup issues unless you really fear for your safety and it doesn’t sound like that as you described it. Just go about your business at the country club and steer clear of them to the best of your ability if you’re there at the same time.

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