The age-old question about staying friends after a breakup

Thursday | April 10, 2025

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

The age-old question about staying friends after a breakup

I was dating a guy I really loved and we talked about how we saw a future together. Last week he broke up with me out of the blue. He said that he really loved and still very much wanted me in his life, as friends. I know in my heart of hearts this would crush me, seeing him have the life that I saw us having … together.

I said I couldn’t do that and he cried and begged me to be his friend.

So the age old-question, should I still be friends even if it will hurt me?

– Crushed

I’ll give an age-old answer to your age-old question.

No.

No, you don’t have to be his friend.

Maybe later, if you feel like it, but not now, and not soon.

You are not partners, nor do you owe him anything. Your priority has to be healing and building a new, exciting chapter in your life. If you’re thinking about his feelings (and tears), you won’t have the energy you need for next steps.

I have to say, and I know it’s too early to believe this, but he’s not the right partner for you. The guy who dumps you out of the blue – and then makes a demand – isn’t the person you’ll want by your side in the future.

I’m sorry. I feel bad for him too, because I’m sure he’s in pain, and losing you is difficult.

But you’re the star here. Start acting like your needs are the most important thing – because they are.

– Meredith

Readers? We know the answer, but why is this so hard to understand when you’re in it?

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