She hung my ornament

Thursday | December 28, 2023

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

She hung my ornament

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Dear Meredith,

My fiancée broke up with me several months back. She literally changed the locks one Friday and had movers take my stuff the following week. No real explanation was given other than that she was done.

We talked on and off in the following months, had sex twice, but ultimately landed in a place where there has been no contact for more than two months. Just the other day I went to her place simply to drop off some things of hers that the movers had taken in the rush to get me out. She invited me in for a coffee. She took pains to point out that on her Christmas tree was hanging my absolute favorite ornament – because “Die Hard” is definitely a Christmas movie.

We left things amicably, but why did she: 1, hang up the ornament and 2, point it out to me? Is the ball in my court? Is she just toying with me? The ornament held no special meaning to her but she knew it was special to me. She didn’t know in advance that I was going to deposit her stuff on her stoop. Over coffee we had a decent but superficial conversation. I’m confused.

– Ornamentally Hers?

This sounds like a complicated, confusing breakup. If you need to talk about it, seek counseling. Figure out what you can learn from this experience.

As for the ornament, I assume it’s the one where Bruce Willis is staring up at you through a vent. (Readers: you can make these “Die Hard” ornaments yourself with tin foil. There are some guides online, but here’s one for those who want to do this for next Christmas.)

Maybe your fiancée hung the ornament because it’s a nice memory. Perhaps she’s capable of appreciating the love you had – and the small mementos you left behind – because this was her decision and she’s had more time to process it.

Or maybe the thing was sitting in the ornament box and she didn’t know what else to do with it. Maybe she pointed it out because she figured you might want it back.

You can ask her for the real answer. Whatever she says might hint at the reason she asked you to leave in the first place.

For the record, I don’t think people send big, important relationship hints by hanging meaningful holiday decorations and waiting for a response. If that is how she communicates, that doesn’t work for you.

Imagine a life with less guessing.

– Meredith

Readers? Do you hang ornaments from exes? Use gifts associated with exes? What does it mean to you? Was this ornament meant to send a message?

Breakups 🖤 Christmas

Featured Comment

“The ball may be in your court, but that doesn’t mean you have to play. Walk away. Notice that she did not offer to give you the ornament, while you came over to her place to drop off her things. Why didn’t she come to pick them up? She was the one who hired the movers. Perhaps she kicked you out because she had found someone else and then got dumped herself and is having second thoughts. But her behavior indicates that you dodged a bullet. Be grateful she was only your financee and not your wife. Meredith is right. Get help so you can move one.:

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