Pandemic Breakups Are Extra Hard

Thursday | June 18, 2020

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

Pandemic Breakups Are Extra Hard

Hi Meredith,

Very recently, my boyfriend of two years and I split ways. Although he initiated it, the breakup was amicable and, after discussing, a mutual decision. Breakups are terrible in real life but in quarantine, where I’m physically isolated from my friends and out of my routine, I’m feeling even more alone. In any other circumstance I’d book myself a trip, go home to be with my family, or sign up for extra workout classes. Instead, I’m sitting here writing to you at 3:40 a.m., sleepless, because I know how much harder this breakup will be to get over.

I’m very fortunate to still have my job, friends I can cry on the phone with, a great therapist, and things to look forward to in the coming months. But right now, in the thick of it, I’m at a loss for how to distract myself from his absence.

– Heartbroken@home

I’m so sorry. If it helps, I’ve received a lot of breakup letters. That means there are going to be many people with a shared experience who are looking for love when this pandemic is over. That’s the first thing to know – you’re not alone.

The other thing to understand is that this breakup isn’t necessary going to be any worse than it would have been six months ago. It’s brand new, which means you don’t know how you’re going to feel in a few weeks. You had an amicable breakup, and it sounds like you understood why the relationship needed to end. Maybe after some sadness and tears, you’ll be OK. You can have lawn time with your friends and find some summer hobbies. You’ve decided this will be terrible, but … I’m not convinced.

You mention routine, and that’s something to think about too. Come up with a new schedule that makes it harder to be up at 3:40 a.m. You can still sign up for workout classes (they’re online). You can still have nights with friends playing games (on apps). Schedule yourself like you would if life were normal right now.

Whatever you do, keep the mask on in real life. I’m no doctor, but talking and crying and laughing with friends (anyone who is not in your home bubble) takes a lot of breath, so keep those conversations masked and many, many feet apart.

– Meredith

Readers? Maybe this won’t be so bad? Can others speak about isolation after breakups?

COVID and Relationships Breakups 🖤

Featured Comment

I’m not sure distraction is what you need but if so, find a new interest. Become a gourmet cook, organize a back yard bar-b-q with neighbors, learn to play the fiddle, research the Protestant Reformation, do art or video production on your PC. Find an online discussion group for any of these. Argue politics on the Internet. Make fun of people who submit questions to Love Letters. ;^) Lots you can do.

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