I’m sorry you’ve felt alone in this friendship. I do think you should let it go – or, at the very least, stop trying to reconnect.

She’s made it clear that the drift has already happened. For whatever reason, she doesn’t want to be in touch.

I think the stuff you miss about her might be about a specific time in life. Let’s call them The Abercrombie Years. Maybe you had long talks and lots of fun back then. Maybe in the years after that, you had similar interests. But something changed, and that’s OK. 

You need a new era – with new people. What are your needs now? Do you want someone to hang out with on a Friday? To talk to late at night? To give you a pep talk? If so, who’s actually available? Can you give them more of your attention?

In thinking about her, you’re missing out on time you could be spending with others. Consider this permission to care for people who seem to want your company.

I’m not saying it’s fun or easy to let go of someone who’s represents a nice part of your history. And who knows, maybe she’ll come back at some point.

But give yourself room to grow your life.

By the way, you inspired me to look at the Abercrombie website, and I feel like the scope and look of that brand has changed a lot since it was huge when I was in college. It’s very different – and not for who I am now, and maybe not for you? (To be fair, I have always been a loose-fit, comfy Gap girl.)

There’s probably some metaphor there – that we grow out of things. Take from it what you want.

– Meredith

Readers? How long does one try to connect with someone who isn’t writing back?