More Than Friends?

Friday | January 16, 2015

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

More Than Friends?

Dear Mere,

I have been friends with a guy for almost 10 years, and we have had a rocky past. However we have both grown and matured.
Until my extremely recent and difficult breakup with my ex, I thought of my friend as just a friend and forgot any feelings from the past toward him. He has been there for me throughout my breakup and has gone out of his way for me. He offered to fix my car because he knows that I am a single mom and my budget is limited. (I declined the offer.)

Recently I scared myself when the fuse broke and he came over as fast a he could to help me. This was after he told me he wanted to give me my physical space to heal and not push my feelings for my ex onto him and hurt myself. I brought up our past interest in each other and he told me that to him I would always just be a friend nothing more. I want to believe that, but part of my gut says his fears of losing our friendship if things don’t work.

I know I should be more focused on healing from my ex than thinking about this guy. It is hard not to with the way he treats me. Is he really just a friend and am I subconsciously seeking a replacement?

– Confused Mommy

It sort of doesn’t matter whether you’re really into this guy or seeking a replacement. Either way, your feelings aren’t reciprocated. He’s made it clear that he wants a friendship, so you have to believe him.

It’s great that he’s willing to do all of these lovely things for you, but you have to get that help from other people. Call someone else about your fuse. Find a cheap mechanic. Because leaning on this guy is messing with your head. You need to take space to resolve your feelings so that you can consider finding someone new.

Spend your time with some friends who are 100 percent platonic. That’s the best way to get this right.

Readers? Is he sending mixed signals? Should she be spending time with this friend?

– Meredith

Breakups 🖤