I am reaching the end of my relationship with my boyfriend. Every weekend, without fail, we have arguments. This has been going on for the past 11 years. I try not to react or respond to his insulting words, but sometimes I can’t help but talk back. It has gotten to the point where I have to lock myself in my room and isolate myself. I constantly hear the same hurtful remarks, and it has really impacted my financial situation and productivity. I have a long list of things to do, but the arguments ruin my plans every weekend, and I end up unproductive out of rebellion and passive aggressiveness.

Today, as we were watching a movie, he suddenly confessed that he fears he will go to jail at any time due to an incident from several years ago. He was heavily intoxicated and assaulted me, leading to his arrest. He blames me for this and has been bringing it up for the past 11 years, along with other hurtful statements and insults. I can’t handle it anymore, especially every time I see him start drinking beer, knowing that my misery will begin again.

My family and most friends are unaware of what I’m going through personally. Some may wonder why I didn’t leave him earlier, but I held on, hoping people could change, and the dating scene was tough. Have I been happy in this relationship? Maybe 0.01 percent of the time. The rest of the time, I am miserable. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but fortunately, work has kept me sane.

As an immigrant in this country, I have considered packing my bags and returning to my home country. However, I’m 48, have a full-time job, mounting debts to pay, and three dogs to consider. Maybe it is high time to reach out to my family and time to make that decision to start anew without him.

– Anew