Is He Stringing Her Along?

Wednesday | December 20, 2017

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

Is He Stringing Her Along?

Former letter writers: Send me an update. Tell us what happened and if our advice was helpful. Email everything to [email protected] with “update” in the subject line.

I recently reconnected with my ex, seven months after our break up.

We went out for drinks to catch up, and I realized that I am still in love with him. I have tried in earnest to get over him. I’ve dated other men since we have broken up, but still think about him all the time. I have told him that I want to get back together, but he wants to remain single for the time being because he claims our relationship had become really intense. We agreed to be friends for now.

However, I don’t know if I will be waiting for him forever. I’m OK with being single for now, but I’m worried that I may be pining for a man who will never love me the way he used to. We say “I love you” and hook up when we see each other. Should I give him space and wait it out? How long should I wait before I’m officially being strung along?

– Strung

I don’t know of any official equation that will tell you how long to stick around before you decide you’re being strung along. It’s more about when you hit a wall while waiting. It’s also about whether you and the ex begin to grow closer as you figure out what should happen next.

That’s what you should focus on right now – how this version of your relationship is different from what you left behind. Do you feel like temporary company? Just something to do? Or is it possible that you’re both using this second chance to figure out how to be better together?

You say you worry that he’ll never love you the way he used to, but this is a new start to the relationship, and it’s possible he might love you better. Pay attention to what he wants from your quality time. That should be the most telling thing.

– Meredith

Readers? Should the LW wait at all?

Breakups 🖤