I’m The Bad Guy

Monday | July 20, 2015

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

I’m The Bad Guy

Meredith,

So basically I have been best friends with this guy for two years. Things started to get romantic and we figured why not. We talked everyday, every hour, and we were both head over heels for each other. He was dealing with severe depression and I saved him from committing suicide several times. That was the peak — then he started to become better, but changing along the way. I’m not one to deal with stress easily and I had a lot to do with school and work, so eventually, when I got into fights with him, I would call him names that would put him down. The frustration built up and I didn’t know how to contain my anger because I am not one to just walk away from a fight.

Eventually he called it off (even the friendship), but surprisingly he had another girl on his mind at the same time. He went to counseling with her and he seemed pretty fond of her, which made him want to get away from me even more. He eventually blocked me so we couldn’t message each other, and I have not spoken to him for a while now. But just a few days ago, my friend found something he had posted online saying it felt so great to get out of an abusive relationship and how I made him so miserable. All I’m thinking now is that I’m the bad person for saying horrible things. I did not mean the name-calling, it was just a way of expressing my anger and I did not know what else to do. How can I overcome all of this and not feel like the bad guy anymore?

– I’m the Bad Guy

It’s on you to learn how to stop being the bad guy. You must find a mental health professional who can help you figure out why you became abusive when you couldn’t cope with the stress.

You should also talk to that professional about what it was like to date someone living with such severe depression. The beginning of your relationship probably affected you more than you know.

You can’t change your ex-boyfriend’s narrative of the breakup, but you can control what comes next for you. Tell your friends that you’d rather not hear about his social media posts because there’s nothing you can do about them. Let them know that you’d rather spend your energy getting better.

Readers?

– Meredith

Breakups 🖤 Depression

Featured Comment

u0022You called him names, you demeaned him, and ‘eventually’ (your word) he called it quits and walked away (ending the friendship entirely), and even then you wouldn’t leave him alone. He actually had to block you to get you out of his life.nnThis is abuse. If you don’t want to be thought of as abusive, don’t abuse people.u0022 — Just-Another-Bostonian

Share Thoughts