I'm heartbroken after a six-month relationship

Tuesday | April 30, 2024

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

I’m heartbroken after a six-month relationship

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Hello Meredith,

My ex-fiancé and I are in my early 30s. It’s been a very intense internship – and we had only been together for six months. We have been arguing a lot. He didn’t like me having male friends. He wanted me to limit interactions with males – even my male cousin. He was suspicious we were involved romantically and wanted to ask my relatives if we were related.

Work has been negatively affected due to our relationship. I missed a work meeting and other things. I lost my engagement ring. I told him on the phone.

He has been so mean in our relationship. He has threaten to break up with me before. Anyway, he broke up and blocked me. I’m worried I maybe pregnant.

I’m so heartbroken.

– Devastated EX

Intense connections can feel like a rush, but that doesn’t mean they’re good for you.

This was an unhealthy, unpleasant, unhappy relationship. Over six months, it put you in a bad place. Time to get back to good. That’s very possible to do, I promise.

Find out if you’re pregnant when possible. I won’t get into that, but … talk to a doctor. Be clear about everything that’s happening with your body.

As you proceed with that, seek out people in your community who make you feel good. This man was not around seven months ago. Who kept you company then? Who made you smile? That’s who you call. Reset and plan for happier times around people you love.

I’m throwing out the word therapy a lot lately, but it might be nice to talk to a counselor. Maybe a group for people who’ve been through emotional abuse (TheHotline.org might help find you one). This man tried to control you. He was unkind. How do you detach yourself from the experience? What can you learn? How do you grieve something so complicated? A counseling/group situation might show you how to frame the experience and move on.

I know you’re heartbroken, but you want to be happy. Having him around doesn’t get you there. Now you have space for so much more.

– Meredith

Readers? Thoughts on recovering from this relationship? What about immediate next steps? Also, send your own question to the anonymous form or email [email protected] .

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Featured Comment

“As always, the issue here is not so much the relationship or his behavior as it is your willingness to put up with such treatment. Something in you sees this kind of relationship as normal (or even attractive) enough to allow it to continue, and becoming curious about that part of yourself is the work to be done. Guys like this are everywhere. The difference between being in a relationship with one or not comes down to your willingness to be with them and instead of allowing the necessary room for a nicer person to come along. Shifting being attracted to consistency/respect over intensity/entertainment is work that can be done with a therapist.”

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