“… do people just walk around with this feeling?”

Yeah, it’s wild. They walk around heartbroken, miserable, and grieving. Sometimes it’s the opposite, and they’re at a supermarket checkout line feeling ecstatic and smitten, with dopamine taking over their brains because they’re falling in love.

It’s a lot to deal with, but yes, it’s a universal feeling to wonder about lunch while you think about an ex at the same time.

The good news is that all of these feelings are temporary. You might grieve the loss of this relationship forever, but it shouldn’t stop you from having new connections. You can be sad about this while falling for someone else. 

It’s only been a few months since the breakup. By June you might be ready for a few dates – and maybe even a crush.

It sounds like some of this pain is about missing the friendship. Instead of talking to your ex to feel seen in that way, spend time with people who know you just as well – other friends, family, etc. He’s not the only person who understands you, right? Give different people the chance to listen.

The stove thing, by the way, is maybe taken from Mark Twain talking about a cat who hops on a hot stove, learns the lesson of not getting burned … but then avoids the stove altogether. The point is, don’t get the wrong lesson from a stove. A new, different stove might be a nicer experience.

I’m sure if Mark Twain were here he’d come up with a better metaphor for this specifically. But I think you get the point.

– Meredith

Readers? Hot stoves? Talking to exes because you miss them? Discuss.

Is there something on your mind about a relationship in your life? A friendship? A crush? A spouse? Send your own question. Help others wondering the same thing. Use the form – or email [email protected].