I'm finally ready for my rebound

Thursday | February 26, 2026

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

I’m finally ready for my rebound

Is there something on your mind about a relationship in your life? Or a relationship you wish you had in your life? Send your own question. Help others wondering the same thing. Use the form – or email [email protected].

Hey Meredith,

I not so recently got out of a significant relationship and went through the classic post-breakup milestones: move to a new city, cut my hair, hooked up with my ex, and started running seriously. I feel like I did everything in the healing process EXCEPT find a new rebound. Now it’s two years later and I realize that I think I absolutely need to do that.

I’ve never been one to shy away from hard things; I left long-term relationships, moved to new places far and wide, solo travelled, had plenty of different jobs, ran the freaking Boston marathon, and ultimately got my act together, and yet I feel like finding a rebound two years later is the hardest, most challenging, and (not to be dramatic) impossible thing I’ve ever set out to do! I love a romcom and slow burn but I need to know: how do you rebound after two years?

Sincerely,

– LateRebounder

Can we start by defining “rebound” experiences?

I’d define a rebound as a romantic choice one makes right after a breakup to accelerate the process of moving on.

Maybe a person couples up with someone they don’t even like. Perhaps the decision involves overzealous commitment; I have seen people jump into a serious relationship weeks after a breakup and I wonder, “Are they moving too quickly? Rebounding to fill the gap left by their previous partner?”

Usually it’s about emotional palate cleansing and moving on as quickly as possible.

It sounds like your rebound was your ex – the one you hooked up with while hitting your breakup milestones. That sounds like a sexual rebound, for sure.

It would help to stop thinking of this next step as a rebound.

You’re not bouncing back from anything right now. Two years after your breakup, you’re ready to meet someone new – maybe for one night, maybe more. That means you’re like the zillions of people who are on dating apps, participating in activities, and showing up to running groups thinking, “I hope I like someone here.”

The trick is to connect with people you enjoy. You don’t have to evaluate them as a potential rom-com archetype. Simply ask, “Do they seem like good company?”

It will take time. A quarter of this advice column is people asking how to find other cool people to befriend, date, or love. Hopefully everyone discovers each other eventually.

It’ll require patience, now that you’re really looking.

Remember, you’re ready for a new experience. No need to label it.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you define rebound? What was your schedule for moving on with someone new? When you think a next step has to go a certain way, does it limit the potential for new experiences?

Breakups 🖤

Featured Comment

You seem to view a rebound as a necessary achievement to check off a list. Something is stopping you from pursuing it. Perhaps, instead of asking how to push through it, you should be asking what’s stopping you, and why.

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