I’ll See My Ex At A Party

Tuesday | June 16, 2015

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

I’ll See My Ex At A Party

Hi Meredith,

I went through a really rough breakup about a year and a half ago and was left in a very emotionally and psychologically vulnerable place for several months after. I’ll spare the details as I don’t think they’re important for the purpose of this letter, but I was able to get the space and time that I needed to focus on myself and my passions, and ultimately realized I am much better off without him. In fact, I am now in a very healthy relationship with a wonderful guy that I see a future with. All in all, I’ve moved on.

I consider myself lucky that I have only seen my ex once since breaking up (which was extremely awkward). However, I am planning on attending a party this weekend (without my current boyfriend) that he has also been invited to. My question is this: Am I obligated/responsible for initiating conversation with him? If he initiates conversation with me, I think I would be comfortable exchanging pleasantries for a few minutes and moving on to socializing with others. But is it rude/bad if I ignore him? I have always been able to stay on good terms with my exes, but because of the turmoil I experienced I really don’t have any desire to have any contact or communication with this guy. But I also want to “be the bigger person” and not seem like I am holding a grudge. Thanks for your input!

– To reach out or not to reach out in Boston

I recommend the knowing smile and nod. Something that says, “I see you standing over there and I’m going to be socially appropriate, but let’s keep our distance, please.” Maybe something like this. Or better yet, this.

If he comes over to chat, just nod and answer a question or two and then excuse yourself. That’s what the bigger person does. You don’t have to keep the conversation going just to prove you can.

I sort of wish you hadn’t spared the details about the breakup because I’d love to know how bad this will be and what your ex might expect from you. Just know that no matter what, your goal is to keep the party comfortable and to leave feeling good about yourself. Your ex’s opinion of the interaction is far less important.

Readers? Does she have to talk to this guy?

– Meredith

Breakups 🖤

Featured Comment

u0022Just think of Ygritte when she has Jon Snow in her sights at Castle Black. Part of you wants to launch that arrow right through his heart, and the other part wants to simply die in his arms.nnGratuitous Game of Thrones reference, #43u0022 – rcardz

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