I Thought I Would Marry Him

Monday | January 30, 2017

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

I Thought I Would Marry Him

I want to get over my ex but I can’t. We started dating when I was 17, now 19. The relationship was very serious relationship for two years. I know it doesn’t seem long, but I really thought I would marry him. He knows everything about me, every detail, every flaw. We were engaged and living together, and even had our own apartment. I love his family, and he loves mine. We were so close and he was my best friend. Until three weeks ago.

He broke up with me, dumped me like we never had anything. He gave me three excuses. One: He didn’t feel the same anymore. Two: He just wanted to be alone. Three: He didn’t want to worry about anyone but himself. Of course, I think he was trying to cover up the real reason … he started dating someone new a week after the breakup.

In my opinion, we didn’t have serious issues. We fought, we stressed, we were a normal couple. We were always happy, or so I thought. Maybe he was just bored, maybe he felt too tied down so he wanted to live a little. Whatever the reason, I am now in so much pain. How do you cope with something like this? I’m in the no-contact stage and it gets harder everyday.

He’s posted things on social media about this new girl. I know her, and he’s been with her before. They didn’t last long at all, and she’s really not the serious relationship type. I don’t know what’s going through his mind and it’s killing me.

I want to know how I can begin to get over this. So far, I’ve been in depression mode. I don’t want to talk to anyone; I want to stay at home and cry. I just don’t know how to pull myself out of this mess. It’s so hard knowing that he’s making her happy. He unblocked me on Facebook. It’s like he needs me to see. I don’t want to. I just want to feel better.

– Dumped

The first thing to do is block him on social media. Maybe he wants you to see the progression of his new relationship, but you control your feed. It’s a good day to mute and unfollow.

The second thing to do is to call five friends and make plans with them. Set up some movie dates. Schedule a time to try a new restaurant with an acquaintance you’d like to get to know better. I know you think you want to stay home and cry, but sometimes you don’t realize that you want to be out until you get there. Challenge yourself to make some new memories that have nothing to do with your ex.

Third, know that it’s OK to grieve. You say the relationship wasn’t long, and yes, you’re young, but when you’re 19, two years is like … 10 percent of your life (math!). You’re allowed to feel sad and miserable. You’re allowed to think of this breakup as a big deal.

Just keep thinking of it as a breakup. I get the sense that you’re trying to anticipate the end of his new relationship, but even if that one fails, it’s still over between the two of you. The reasons you listed at the start of your letter are important and real – no matter what happens with anyone else.

– Meredith

Readers? Basic breakup tips?

Living Together Breakups 🖤

Featured Comment

u0022Sounds to me like your ex was actively cheating on you but you just didn’t know it. To make it worse, he doesn’t even care how long you guys have broken up before he started dating the new girl.nnUhh, so what’s to like about him at this point?u0022 – Pennies2cents

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