Although we are now currently separated, my husband and I have been married for going on 25 years, but we’ve actually been together a little over 30 years. We met in high school and were on and off until graduation. 

Two of the main reasons why we separated during those times were due to financial difficulties or him cheating. In the beginning of our relationship, I was told, by him, that a female friend was not fond of me, although I never actually met her.

To this day, I’m pretty sure she’s not in the picture anymore, but she was in the picture, I would say, the first five to seven years of us being together. When our child was about 3, this neighbor of mine said that this woman came to visit him, and she brought her child with her. It was said that the child’s father was in prison for a period of time. But as time went on, I started finding out other things about this child, such as the spelling of his name. This woman’s child’s name is very, very similar to my child’s name. 

Time goes on and I just so happen to find a picture of the child on social media and the child looks very very similar to my husband. I questioned my husband and asked why this woman doesn’t like me. I was told that it was because she got pregnant when she was young – with his child – and she terminated the pregnancy. He said this was before we were together.

Fast-forward to about five years ago and my marriage isn’t the best at this time. I started having this feeling that I was never the first choice. I feel like he’s angry at me because I’m not the one he wanted to be with, yet because I got pregnant and kept my child, we decided to be together. I would’ve raised my child myself, which is basically what I have been doing since the beginning anyway.

I was able to have a conversation with this other woman. The main reason was to find out how serious their relationship was. All I want is for him to be happy, not regretful. I was even willing to accept the fact that I may not have been his first choice. I got up the nerve to call her and ask her their history, and she tells me that she ended her pregnancy not as many years ago as I had been told – that she was pregnant at the same time that I was pregnant with my first child. 

But … I feel strongly that the child my neighbor saw with her might be my husband’s child. 

My question: I don’t want to mess up anyone’s life by bringing up something that may or may not be true. However, I cannot shake this nagging feeling that he did have a baby with this woman.

How much do I push this issue? I know it will not only affect my life and my husband‘s life, it will also affect our two children’s lives, the child’s mother’s life, the child’s alleged-father’s life, and, most importantly, the child’s. I don’t want to ruin or disrupt anyone’s life. I don’t know.

Should I just let it go or, for my own sanity, speak to the woman again and maybe get her to confess to me with a promise that I won’t shake anything up? I just need to know. If the shoe was on the other foot and if it came down to it, would I admit the truth?

– Mystery