I Met His Family And Then He Broke Up With Me

Tuesday | October 27, 2015

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

I Met His Family And Then He Broke Up With Me

A few months ago I was set up by a mutual friend with a younger man. (I’m 37, he’s 32.) Right off the bat, there was a connection. We both were sensitive, caring, hard-working, genuine, and had trauma in our childhoods. He has been single for a few years … said he wanted to focus on his career and enjoy life (his last relationship broke his heart and did not end well). I am divorced with no kids.

He and I were taking it slow, but after 2.5 months of dating, he asked if I wanted to meet his family and college friends, which I did in one day. Everyone was friendly and all went well. The next day, he broke up with me, claiming he didn’t feel we had adequate “chemistry or sparks” to progress to a full relationship.

He stated “everyone had nothing but nice things to say.” He also had nothing but positive comments about me. So … I feel humiliated because I thought meeting the family was an important milestone while dating. I am confused as to why he would introduce me to his parents, siblings, and friends, only to break up with me.

– I met everybody

Perhaps he didn’t understand that this was a milestone until he experienced it. And perhaps he discovered (or admitted to himself) that while he cares about you a lot, he doesn’t see a future with you.

Or maybe he’s just a thoughtless person. Because, come on. Who introduces someone to their entire community only to say – 24 hours later – that there’s no chemistry?

We can’t read his mind, so we might as well focus on yours. This is disappointing and confusing, but you can move on from it. Better that this happened after a few months instead of a year. He revealed himself before you invested too much.

You need to be with someone who thinks things through. Instead of trying to figure out why he’s not that guy, just accept that he isn’t.

Readers? Can anyone defend how he dealt with this situation? Can you help her move on?

– Meredith

Family 🖤 Breakups 🖤

Featured Comment

u0022You know what, maybe everyone DID like you, LW. And told your dude that. Sometimes, though, it’s hearing that sort of thing and recognizing your own reaction that clears up what you’re feeling.nnI have a distinct memory of being in college and one of my friends meeting this guy I was dating, and she was saying how NICE he seemed and how cute we looked together, and I started feeling like…well, I’M not even that excited about it. It didn’t last long after that.u0022 – Elleem

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