I Haven’t Heard From Her And I’m Starting To Worry

Monday | April 4, 2016

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

I Haven’t Heard From Her And I’m Starting To Worry

I’m a 29-year-old guy and have recently been trying to get back together with an ex of mine from a few years ago, but I keep being put into various no-win situations. I have made my intentions clear for over a year, and after some discussions, we decided to try again. I told her she needed to be 100 percent in if she wanted this because I don’t do well with emotional stress, and she agreed.

We went out on an amazing second first date and it could not have gone better. We were supposed to meet up again the next day but none of my calls or texts were answered. It’s now been three days and I haven’t heard one word from her. Under normal circumstances I’d say it’s game playing, but we know each other very well and were friends in between our attempts at more. I don’t know what to do outside of going to her house and making sure nothing bad happened to her. Am I being crazy or do I have a right to be generally worried for her well-being? At this point I’d gladly take a phone call telling me to leave her alone over not being sure she’s OK.

– Second chance

Does she have any public social media accounts that track her existence? If so, start there. You could discover via Instagram that she’s alive and well and having pretty pancakes for brunch. You could check her Twitter and see that she spent Sunday night watching “The Walking Dead.”

If she doesn’t have those profiles – and there’s no mutual friend around to confirm that she’s OK – you can leave her a voicemail saying that you’re worried you haven’t heard from her. Explain that you’re not checking in on your relationship status, just her life status. Make it clear that all you need is a quick text confirming that she’s fine.

If you find that she is alive and well and isn’t trapped under heavy furniture, you’ll have to accept that she can’t be “100 percent in” right now. You’re the one who said you had a “second first date.” That means you’re starting over. All you can ask yourself is whether you have enough momentum and trust to get to date No. 2.

– Meredith

Readers? If he’s concerned about her safety, should he stop by? Is this second chance going to work?

Breakups 🖤

Featured Comment

Without, uh, going out on a limb, I’d suggest that this is one of life’s lessons: there’s no profit in chasing, chasing, chasing it. If she’s not into it, move on.

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