I feel trapped in this relationship
Q.
I got pregnant by accident with a man I had been with for two years. I saw a future with him but wasn’t quite ready for a child.
We decided to have the child and this baby is the light of my life, but shortly after the birth, my partner became a different person. I feel naive and trapped.
We are tied together for life. Should I leave to be a single mom, or stick it out longer?
– Trapped
A.
Single mom! Single mom! (That was me chanting.)
Maybe this relationship has potential. Perhaps it can be fixed. You told us so little, and I wouldn’t want to guess.
Regardless, it’s not OK to feel trapped. It’s terrible to feel like you’re partnered with someone you didn’t choose. You are connected to this man for life because of the child, but you don’t have to be tethered as romantic partners.
If you don’t see a path to a better relationship and you know you want out, call on your community (whatever it is) to help you set up a new home. You can see a lawyer about custody agreements. There’s free legal aid around town here (email me for that), and family court can answer questions.
The point is, there are systems for help. More accurately, there are wonderful people who can help you make a new plan.
If you know you want to go, you might as well start the process. I’m not sure it gets easier.
– Meredith
Readers? I know we don’t know much here, but if your partner becomes a different person, do you try to stay? How long is anyone supposed to stick it out?
What’s been on your mind about your dating/relationship life? Ask your own question. It helps others who are wondering the same thing. Use the anonymous form or email [email protected].
Be civil. Be kind.
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