You’ve withheld some details here, I think.

You failed to respond to the group chat once, and got kicked out the group? What was the chat about? What message did you ignore? Was it about your other friend dating your ex? 

Maybe the specifics don’t matter. It sounds like all of this happened when everyone lacked communication skills and maturity. Whatever you do now, though, should represent a bit more wisdom and lessons learned.

You should reach out to her – because you want to. Tell her it’s been a long time, you find yourself thinking about her and her family, and that you’d love to hear what she’s up to.

The trick is to be clear that you’d like to know who she is as a grownup, in 2026. Whatever happened in high school was important and formative, but it’s over. I hope you want to see this friend to find out who she’s become. Don’t do this if you want to rehash the specifics of whatever your third friend did with your boyfriend in 2018, or why the group text fizzled.

There can be some talk about the past, of course, but the point of this is to see how you might know each other now.

If she ignores you, at least you’ll know you tried. No matter how she responds, you can be sure you did your best.

The effort might make it easier to move on.

– Meredith

Readers? Is it worth reaching out? What does it mean if there’s no response? Advice for how to reconnect if they get together?

Send your own question. Help others wondering the same thing. Use the form – or email [email protected].