I wish people could choose to block all incoming updates about an ex. Like, a button they could push to prevent any details about the ex from reaching their brain. (“Black Mirror” writers: consider this as an episode.)

One way to do this in real life? Stop following the ex on social media and asking friends about him. Information will slip through anyway, but do what you can to protect yourself.

You’re on your own path. That’s all I can say. Good for him (I guess?) for finding a 23-year-old to keep him company. He might be sick of her in a year, and maybe, by then, you’ll be on Date 6 with a very cool guy who makes you laugh.

We had a recent letter from someone who was still thinking about an ex every day, a year after the breakup. I told that person that a year isn’t very long. Two years might also be a blip, especially if this was a significant relationship.

Hopefully the thought of him is brief. Hopefully you start to see more potential for yourself.

You will not only find people for you, but there will be friendships, events, travel, and inspiring work, if you look for it. Please enjoy every step of building your new world. It’s all yours – and while you can’t control when you fall in love, you’re in charge of almost everything else.

– Meredith