He Stole My Phone

Thursday | December 15, 2022

Love Letters Breakups 🖤

He Stole My Phone

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An ex of mine stole my smart phone and wouldn’t give it back for weeks. Then he broke my tablet. I finally broke up with him almost three months into the relationship. Six weeks before our breakup, he told me had done those things “for us.” He did not offer to replace any of those things.

Years later, he sends me a Facebook message out of the blue to apologize. He added that my breaking up with him ruined his life. He did not admit to sabotaging our relationship and somehow still blames me. I told him he was a narcissist, but he disagrees.

Why would he say this to me years later – and why do jerks like him continue to accuse others of ruining their lives after all they’ve done wrong? Why don’t they understand how their actions have created an undesirable outcome for them? Also, why do these jerks believe they can do whatever they want, but you have no right to leave them? He just didn’t care about hurting me and stealing from me. Is he a sociopath or something?

– Why?

I am not a licensed anything, so I won’t try to diagnose this ex for you. I won’t even jump to narcissism. All I know is that he did and said awful things.

You know that too, and thank goodness you’re not with him anymore. I guess that’s the point, right? It kind of doesn’t matter why he behaves this way because he’s not your problem.

Yes, it would be better to know that he’s getting help, learning to be self-aware, and doing his best to make sure he doesn’t treat anyone else like this – but that’s out of your hands. All you can do is keep him out of your life. No more answering messages. He doesn’t deserve the time or analysis.

Try to focus on who you’ve become, now that the relationship is over. You’ve learned to spot controlling and abusive behavior. You know how to dismiss excuses that don’t make sense. You can be certain you’re capable of walking away.

You don’t need apologies to get the closure you need.

Focus on yourself. You’re a much more interesting subject to think about.

– Meredith

Readers? What’s the lesson here? How do you make peace with exes who will never know what they did wrong?

Breakups 🖤