A.

My very close friend once called a guy and said, “Don’t call me ever again.”

We laugh about this decades later because she had called him.

From my memory, his response was like, “Um, OK.”

It sounds like your ex will go away for the most part – because he wants to. Yes, he wants to text when he needs attention or thinks of you, but you can block his number. You can ignore the messages.

You can rename him in your phone as “guy who lied about health problems,” and you’ll remember why he doesn’t deserve any kind of response.

I am so glad you didn’t wind up dating him all over again. Time saved! Now you can use your energy for better things.

I understand why you’re angry he behaved this way, but try to find some gratitude. He showed you exactly who he is – and what he doesn’t want from you. There are so many letter writers desperate for clarity. You have it. 

Why is he like this? Who would behave this way? Why didn’t he handle this with more empathy? That’s not your puzzle to solve.

You don’t have to tell him anything.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you let someone know you don’t want contact … if they’re mostly not contacting you, but likely to show up again?

Send your own letter here – or to [email protected]. I’m reading. Taking letters about complicated friendships, too.