Dear Meredith ,

It all began years ago when we both decided to participate in an unconventional relationship outside our marriages. She was married to a husband who adored her with what he called “unconditional” love, much like the number one reading letter for 2024. In contrast, I found myself in a relationship devoid of affection and intimacy. Our paths crossed in 2018, and from that moment we embarked on a connection that felt both exhilarating and fulfilling.

In those early months, we would talk for hours, delving into our dreams, desires, and the intricacies of our lives. Our intimacy deepened, and we made love for hours, as if we had discovered something that was missing in our respective marriages. It was a powerful emotional and physical connection. However, as time went on, I noticed her beginning to pull away, erecting emotional walls that I should have recognized sooner.

Having been married for over two decades, her lack of affection toward her husband made me ponder the deeper issues at play. Perhaps her past, marked by some family trauma, influenced her ability to form emotional bonds. It led me to wonder if she was truly capable of committing to either her husband, to me, or anyone in her life.

As the years passed, our relationship devolved into a cycle of on-and-off dynamics. I grew increasingly frustrated with her inability to express her feelings openly or to engage romantically. Throughout these seven years, I have always been the one to plan romantic and exciting dates, showering her with thoughtful gifts and love notes to show my affection. Yet, she has reciprocated none of this. Each time we attempted to reconnect, driven by our mutual longing, guilt over our situations often led us back to our respective marriages, leaving us caught in an emotional tug-of-war.

Now, it has been six months since we last connected. During this time, she has sent me a couple of messages, but I have chosen to ignore them. Despite the passage of time, I still feel the pull of our connection. I remain in love with her, seeing her as my soulmate. Whenever she reaches out, my heart races, and I grapple with the desire to let go and move on. I yearn to stop loving her and find the strength to move forward, but the fluctuations between her warmth and distance leave me in turmoil.

She frequently reassures me that she never intended to hurt me, yet her actions convey a different story. I am left wondering how to navigate these feelings and truly find a way to let go. How do I let go and move on?

Thank you for allowing me to share my story. I hope it resonates with others who have experienced the complexities of love and the struggle to find closure.

– Closure