It sounds like the breakup involved rejection and bargaining, but that you didn’t leave with a clear sense of what went wrong and when. If you need more information, this is the time to ask for it.

Sometimes breakups require more than one discussion so that everyone’s hopes, terms, and boundaries are clear. You want to know what he meant when he liked the Facebook photo. You want to understand his expectations for communication in the future. It’s OK to reach out for answers.

If he declines the request to talk – or simply reiterates that he’s no longer interested in being with you – you should explain that you need space from him in all forms. Facebook likes are confusing. He shouldn’t be inserting himself into your life just to try to make you feel better.

As you consider reaching out again, please know that the information provided by his sister is probably true – but not very meaningful. Even if your ex was 100 percent certain about the breakup, he’ll still grieve the loss and feel sadness. He might be miserable and obsessed with work, but that doesn’t mean he wants to undo his decision.

It’s natural to want to fantasize abut better outcomes, but do not go into any conversation assuming that he’ll change his mind.

– Meredith

Readers? Was the Facebook activity meaningful in some way?